Hello Spring!!

So, as it may seem by my most recent post (May 2009), I have no other life than that which was in Italy. But, this is wrong. :) Although I may like to think that everything I ever think about revolves around my time in Italy, these past 10 months have been a time in my life that I will never forget.
In the summer of 2009 I spent most of the beginning trying to figure out WHAT i was doing here in a small town in Maine, USA. "LORD!! why am i here?! what is next!?" I was so anxcious to know what is next. I finally got a job at the walmart here in Ellsworth in August. By then I knew that I wasnt going to be able to go back to Italy for the Fall 2009 semester. It killed me, well not exactly. The Lord wanted to show me life in a different way. The first few months i worked at Walmart I still had my focus on Italy and wondering when the Lord would have me go back. just assuming that that was the next step. O man, was i wrong. Although I had on "italian" glasses everytime i viewed something in life, deep down i knew it was me wrestling with the Lord. Everyone kept asking me, "so when are you going back? What are you going to do next semester?" Then i asked myself, "why do I want to go back to Italy?" the answer that I knew deep down was because I wanted to go back and then everything would be exactly as it was. I was looking backward, and for some reason thinking that if I were to go back, it would all be the same, and it wouldn't be.
So, september, october, november, and december flew by, and I proudfully said "Merry Christmas!" to all my customers :). I wasnt able to put anything into my savings to even touch the amount that I would need to be able to go back for the spring semester in Italy. Once again I was devistated. "Lord, why!?" "what is going on"??? Then I remembered a quote, "if you arent serving the Lord where you are now then, what makes you think you will serve the Lord fully by going somewhere else?" Wow, that hit me hard. Then I started praying, Lord how can I serve you here where I am now, Lord please give me joy peace and comfort here in this place. Then I started asking for a heart for the lost souls at my job at walmart. I come into contact with SO many people by working at Walmart.
I accepted the fact that I would be staying here in Maine for yet again another semester, not worrying about what other people would say, and I pressed on looking for what the Lord would have for me here. I knew i would have to minister some how in this area in order to serve the Lord elsewhere.
So, Here i am in March. I have decided to apply for the Summer of Service program at Schloss Heroldeck in Austria. I really want to spend time serving with other around me that have the same missionary metality and be able to set a lot of time apart for the Lord and hopefully learn more and be in fellowship more. I am excited to see what happens and I pray that the Lord will lead me and calm all the nerves and fears about traveling again if I am accepted. :)