Well, I thought spring 2011 was here, until it was taken away by ANOTHER 6 inches of snow. Hmm.
Going to interviews is becoming a hassel. Will I ever fit inside this work driven world? Probably not, but unless I marry rich this will have to do :)
I met with the surgeon today, no not for surgery, for a 2nd interview. Is it wrong that inside I am sort of praying I won't get the new job? Hmm.
It would be easier to get a message saying they have chosen someone else, and I wouldn't have to break the news to my current employer. Yet, when I think of staying where I am, I have anxiety, and wonder why would I ever want to stay?
Will I ever be able to do a great job and be noticed? Will the effect of my detail oriented labor and attention to what the Doctors expect ever strike into action?
Since I am on the front lines, even when I trace an appointment all the way to the room making sure every detail is in place, somewhere it is overtaken by someone else's mistake. Hmm...
I am beginning to wonder what it is I am to do?
"another day, another dollar" -worst expression EVER!
"another day, another soul saved from hell."- I would like to live by this motto.
The Corporate world is leaving a sour taste in my mouth, but Im glad because so many people get lost in that world.
There is a time and season for everything, I am just praying for strength to get through this one.
Alas, "Lord, please bring Spring."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
prayer and fellowship
This evening I went over early for dinner with Ashley and Ross which was followed by the regular Monday night prayer night. It's such a blessing to be able to laugh so hard during playing a game of sequence, then 10 minutes later be seeking the Lord in prayer. There is something truly unique about real fellowship. The few of us that pray together on Monday nights is such a good time where we get to see each other's hearts for the community and the unsaved souls in our lives.
The intent of this prayer night is to pray for the youth in the church and the community. We also want to reach out to the Ellsworth area youth because there is so much misleading that is happening, and it's frustrating to see "christians" getting a bad name all because on man in the town is handing out money, and then forcing the teens to listen to the gospel being projected over a loud speaker, and that is it...This is what this man doesn't understand, the true good news of Jesus Christ doesn't need money attached. He is luring in kids by giving them free laptops and cash, so he can preach the good news!? If those kids came for free things that are just going to burn, why would they have interest in the eternal? So, when they go home that night, was there a seed really planted? They might have raised their hand to receive salvation, but where is the discipleship? He doesn't even take the time to learn their name, or where they are from. He just thinks by giving away money to the youth in the community and yelling at them telling them that you need to pray a prayer to Jesus so that you wont burn in hell, that is not what Christians are commanded to do!!!
True Salvation comes from a heart that has come to the realization of the need for a Savior and that your life has to change, that you need to be made new. As ministers of the gospel, if we are to try and plant a seed, don't you check and make sure that it is doing well.
Wow, i could go on and on. Those of you who know this man I am talking about what is trying to selfishly receive crowns in heaven for those teens that only raise their hand to "receive salvation" so that they can find favor in the eyes of the one handing them a free iPod?? well, those teens have that preacher fooled i am sure.
Needless to say, on Monday nights we pray. Not that the youth in this community would just hear the good news of Jesus, but that they would come to Him out of a broken and contrite heart. We are called to go out as disciples of Jesus Christ and preach salvation in love to the world around us, and then baptize and disciple, for no profit of our own, but by that they would be saved.
We are praying that the Lord would give us ideas for showing love to the teens in the Ellsworth area, and that they can come and learn about the Lord and have good clean fun while learning in love that God wants a new life for them, to live with Him forever.
In the morning Ashley, Justus and I are going apple picking, so I should be posting pictures of that soon i hope... :)
"Then Peter said 'Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you; In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." Acts 3:6 Nkjv
The intent of this prayer night is to pray for the youth in the church and the community. We also want to reach out to the Ellsworth area youth because there is so much misleading that is happening, and it's frustrating to see "christians" getting a bad name all because on man in the town is handing out money, and then forcing the teens to listen to the gospel being projected over a loud speaker, and that is it...This is what this man doesn't understand, the true good news of Jesus Christ doesn't need money attached. He is luring in kids by giving them free laptops and cash, so he can preach the good news!? If those kids came for free things that are just going to burn, why would they have interest in the eternal? So, when they go home that night, was there a seed really planted? They might have raised their hand to receive salvation, but where is the discipleship? He doesn't even take the time to learn their name, or where they are from. He just thinks by giving away money to the youth in the community and yelling at them telling them that you need to pray a prayer to Jesus so that you wont burn in hell, that is not what Christians are commanded to do!!!
True Salvation comes from a heart that has come to the realization of the need for a Savior and that your life has to change, that you need to be made new. As ministers of the gospel, if we are to try and plant a seed, don't you check and make sure that it is doing well.
Wow, i could go on and on. Those of you who know this man I am talking about what is trying to selfishly receive crowns in heaven for those teens that only raise their hand to "receive salvation" so that they can find favor in the eyes of the one handing them a free iPod?? well, those teens have that preacher fooled i am sure.
Needless to say, on Monday nights we pray. Not that the youth in this community would just hear the good news of Jesus, but that they would come to Him out of a broken and contrite heart. We are called to go out as disciples of Jesus Christ and preach salvation in love to the world around us, and then baptize and disciple, for no profit of our own, but by that they would be saved.
We are praying that the Lord would give us ideas for showing love to the teens in the Ellsworth area, and that they can come and learn about the Lord and have good clean fun while learning in love that God wants a new life for them, to live with Him forever.
In the morning Ashley, Justus and I are going apple picking, so I should be posting pictures of that soon i hope... :)
"Then Peter said 'Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you; In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." Acts 3:6 Nkjv
Voluntelling
Today Will comes up to me and says, so I'm voluntelling you that you are now doing Sunday school Sunday mornings. Haha thats my new favorite word.
I dont know why but for some reason I do so much better when someone just tells me to do it, maybe its a submission thing, i dont know. I'm excited about it though, cause I like being involved in ministry, and I have signed up for nursery lately too. I think I have been being stubborn about being committed, but I'm learning it is a submission concept.
The life of a Christian is a never ending learning experience. I love it.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the 100 (it feels like) applications that I have sent out into the surrounding areas of Ellsworth.
I know that this is just another time in my life where the Lord is teaching me to depend on Him and not my own efforts, or my own means of provision. Will i ever learn? I hope so! :)
I dont know why but for some reason I do so much better when someone just tells me to do it, maybe its a submission thing, i dont know. I'm excited about it though, cause I like being involved in ministry, and I have signed up for nursery lately too. I think I have been being stubborn about being committed, but I'm learning it is a submission concept.
The life of a Christian is a never ending learning experience. I love it.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the 100 (it feels like) applications that I have sent out into the surrounding areas of Ellsworth.
I know that this is just another time in my life where the Lord is teaching me to depend on Him and not my own efforts, or my own means of provision. Will i ever learn? I hope so! :)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Unfinished business.
I have decided that once I get a new job, I am going to save, save, save so I can graduate Bible College. I have completed 3 semesters, and I have that 4th one hanging over my head, and I have such a strong desire to go back and finish.
Ideally I want to go back to Italy. The Lord has given me contentment during the time I am home, but I cannot deny the fact that my heart is still in Italy, and I think the Lord has me there again, I just don't know when. So, If you are reading this, I would really appreciate your prayers for me as I trust in the Lord and save up money. Also, that I would get a job now that would enable me to do that very thing. I would like to go this coming spring, but in my eyes, it is impossible, so it will have to be the Lord showing himself strong in order for this to happen.
He has definitely done it before and He is forever faithful, so here I go, trusting Him, step by step. thank you so much for praying :) I will keep this blog updated as much as possible.
These are a few pictures from my 2 semesters in Italy...
After sharing a great Italian meal
My Roommates and Maria
Padova, Italy
During our outreach trip to L'Aquila after their earthquake
Thursday, September 9, 2010
He is There. Always. On that Mountain, and even through the Fire, He is There.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6
"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
So, of course I want the Lord to do great things with my life. right?
I had forgotten that when taking a step of faith, its not a controlled, comfortable situation. Its a vulnerable place. A place where I need to rest in His strength and might, and realize, He is all i need. My sufficiency needs to come from Him. Without Him, i will be lost.
How thankful I am that I can count on Him. He never fails!
side note- if I have a car for any period of time, something happens to it. I dont know why, but i never have a vehicle that is faithful, im always worried that any second the next thing will be wrong. I know, thats lame, because its just a material thing.
Then, we have people.
Most of us can count on our parents right?
When we are sick in school they would leave work to some and get us because we were their priority.
But then there are the times, when you need someone, and they are in a meeting, or they just happen to be out of town on the day when you needed their help.
In that moment there is nothing that can change the fact that they cannot help you.
You have called every person you can think of, and nobody answers. Not because they don't care necessarily, but because in that moment, they weren't there.
I think we've all been there.
Or, you may have had a sickening nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you no longer have control. A car accident? You get nervous when you realize, wow, i cant control this anymore.
We have had, and will in the future have spiritual car wrecks.
We were fine getting in the car, driving to our destination, but wait, you thought you were a great driver, but you got distracted, or something jumped out in front of you. Where are you now? are you at the end of yourself. you call for help. what if nobody answers?
I got a job in Belfast today, they want me to have the orientation very soon.
It's an hour drive. My car hasn't been running well. I have no money saved up for an apartment. hmm. I had two choices.
1) Look at the seemingly uncontrollable situation and get nervous trying to figure it out on my own.
2.) Pray and let the Lord stand by my side, take my hand and lead me.
I will choose the one with less stress, anxiety, and the better outcome.
It makes things so much better when we call to Jesus first.
If He is Lord of my Life, and if He is my Commander, then who better to direct me and take care of all the details.
After all, I am tired of making decisions. The Lord can work everything out. Only if I let Him though.. I tend to control situations, then i get confused, anxious, and it becomes complex. When God handles me life, it is more clear.
Now, If moving to Belfast is what the Lord has for me, then this will continue.
There is no doubt that I am still nervous, because it is happening all SO fast. Yet, I know for a fact, He is with me. No matter what the outcome, He is with me.
To know the truth of how God wants to be near us, to lead us, to comfort us, and to live in us, is so powerful.
I think of all the cults and religions in this world that have rituals of how to get to God, and some think they cant even speak to Him on their own! How absurd! Our King Jesus Christ said, "Come to ME, all you who are weary and I will give you rest."
He wants us to long for Him, to be comforted by Him, to walk with Him, and talk with Him." Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man.
He alone is all we need.
"Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
So, of course I want the Lord to do great things with my life. right?
I had forgotten that when taking a step of faith, its not a controlled, comfortable situation. Its a vulnerable place. A place where I need to rest in His strength and might, and realize, He is all i need. My sufficiency needs to come from Him. Without Him, i will be lost.
How thankful I am that I can count on Him. He never fails!
side note- if I have a car for any period of time, something happens to it. I dont know why, but i never have a vehicle that is faithful, im always worried that any second the next thing will be wrong. I know, thats lame, because its just a material thing.
Then, we have people.
Most of us can count on our parents right?
When we are sick in school they would leave work to some and get us because we were their priority.
But then there are the times, when you need someone, and they are in a meeting, or they just happen to be out of town on the day when you needed their help.
In that moment there is nothing that can change the fact that they cannot help you.
You have called every person you can think of, and nobody answers. Not because they don't care necessarily, but because in that moment, they weren't there.
I think we've all been there.
Or, you may have had a sickening nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you no longer have control. A car accident? You get nervous when you realize, wow, i cant control this anymore.
We have had, and will in the future have spiritual car wrecks.
We were fine getting in the car, driving to our destination, but wait, you thought you were a great driver, but you got distracted, or something jumped out in front of you. Where are you now? are you at the end of yourself. you call for help. what if nobody answers?
I got a job in Belfast today, they want me to have the orientation very soon.
It's an hour drive. My car hasn't been running well. I have no money saved up for an apartment. hmm. I had two choices.
1) Look at the seemingly uncontrollable situation and get nervous trying to figure it out on my own.
2.) Pray and let the Lord stand by my side, take my hand and lead me.
I will choose the one with less stress, anxiety, and the better outcome.
It makes things so much better when we call to Jesus first.
If He is Lord of my Life, and if He is my Commander, then who better to direct me and take care of all the details.
After all, I am tired of making decisions. The Lord can work everything out. Only if I let Him though.. I tend to control situations, then i get confused, anxious, and it becomes complex. When God handles me life, it is more clear.
Now, If moving to Belfast is what the Lord has for me, then this will continue.
There is no doubt that I am still nervous, because it is happening all SO fast. Yet, I know for a fact, He is with me. No matter what the outcome, He is with me.
To know the truth of how God wants to be near us, to lead us, to comfort us, and to live in us, is so powerful.
I think of all the cults and religions in this world that have rituals of how to get to God, and some think they cant even speak to Him on their own! How absurd! Our King Jesus Christ said, "Come to ME, all you who are weary and I will give you rest."
He wants us to long for Him, to be comforted by Him, to walk with Him, and talk with Him." Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man.
He alone is all we need.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day Blessings...
God Blesses us in many ways when We just live our lives out in a way that pleases Him...
1) First of all, this morning I got to see my sweet niece Eden, and nephew Sam, and of course my brother Steven, Christian, Holly, and my Dad :). We just had a little cook-out where we threw some Bratwursts on the grill, and hung out with each other. It was a cool, yet somewhat warm day that reminded us all of the wonderful fall season that is ahead. Personally I am SO excited to be able to actually put on an outfit that consists of more clothing than shorts and a tank top. This means, scarves, pants, cute shoes, and I can toss those flip flops in the closet for another year. I mean, don't get me wrong, flip flops are amazing. They allow your feet to have the freedom of ventilation with the comfort of Havianna's cushion underneath, but they are longing for a deeper comfort.
2.)
I also drove to the farm town of Bradford to pick up my step-sister Rebekah, and made the mandatory stop at Starbucks on the way home for their limited time Pumpkin Spice Latte!! mmmmmmm yummmm.. It's been too long! and since Starbucks is afraid to plant it's heals in the DD loving city of Ellsworth, I have to take advantage of being in Bangor near one while I can!
3. (also my favorite)
You know how people always try to encourage you with the solid truth that God cares about every aspect of our lives, and even the little minor thoughts that we dont even take the time to pray about? Well, I have come to the realization that when I have little desires, most of the time God grants me the desires even before I ask for them, and what a blessing they are!! "sigh"
If you have read my previous entry, I mentioned how i want to learn the piano. But how does one accomplish such a task when there isnt a piano to play?? Well, ladies and gentlemen...God provides.
I was bringing a friend home from prayer tonight, and I mentioned to her how I wanted to learn the piano, and she pipes up and says, "oh hey, we have one you can have." I didn't believe it. But, yes, tonight i drove home with a keyboard, stand, and music stand. AWESOME!
When I take the time to pray about things that I think are so important and huge in my life, I lift them up to the throne room, I believe I still have doubt in my mind.
The Lord saw my little desire, and it came to be in almost less than two days.
So now, I will journey into the piano realm of music. I am so excited!
1) First of all, this morning I got to see my sweet niece Eden, and nephew Sam, and of course my brother Steven, Christian, Holly, and my Dad :). We just had a little cook-out where we threw some Bratwursts on the grill, and hung out with each other. It was a cool, yet somewhat warm day that reminded us all of the wonderful fall season that is ahead. Personally I am SO excited to be able to actually put on an outfit that consists of more clothing than shorts and a tank top. This means, scarves, pants, cute shoes, and I can toss those flip flops in the closet for another year. I mean, don't get me wrong, flip flops are amazing. They allow your feet to have the freedom of ventilation with the comfort of Havianna's cushion underneath, but they are longing for a deeper comfort.
2.)
I also drove to the farm town of Bradford to pick up my step-sister Rebekah, and made the mandatory stop at Starbucks on the way home for their limited time Pumpkin Spice Latte!! mmmmmmm yummmm.. It's been too long! and since Starbucks is afraid to plant it's heals in the DD loving city of Ellsworth, I have to take advantage of being in Bangor near one while I can!
3. (also my favorite)
You know how people always try to encourage you with the solid truth that God cares about every aspect of our lives, and even the little minor thoughts that we dont even take the time to pray about? Well, I have come to the realization that when I have little desires, most of the time God grants me the desires even before I ask for them, and what a blessing they are!! "sigh"
If you have read my previous entry, I mentioned how i want to learn the piano. But how does one accomplish such a task when there isnt a piano to play?? Well, ladies and gentlemen...God provides.
I was bringing a friend home from prayer tonight, and I mentioned to her how I wanted to learn the piano, and she pipes up and says, "oh hey, we have one you can have." I didn't believe it. But, yes, tonight i drove home with a keyboard, stand, and music stand. AWESOME!
When I take the time to pray about things that I think are so important and huge in my life, I lift them up to the throne room, I believe I still have doubt in my mind.
The Lord saw my little desire, and it came to be in almost less than two days.
So now, I will journey into the piano realm of music. I am so excited!
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